How To Care For Your Harry Potter Character
by Draco.max.and.me
Summary: So you just purchased your Harry Potter character and you have no idea what to do next. Fear Not! Dracomaxandme Productions is here to guide you on your way to caring for your them.
1. Harry J Potter

HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR HARRY

I got this idea off of another fanfic about Maximum Ride and thought it was hilarious! Enjoy!  
_

**How To Take Care Of Your**

**Harry J. Potter**

**Congratulations!**

**You have successfully received your Harry. Your Harry should have come with**

1.) A magic wand

2.) A box of chocolate frogs

3.) A change of black standard robes

4.) A photo album

5.) A picture of Ginny Weasly (you have to pretend

that you don't notice this or you will cause akwardness

between you and Harry)

6.) A stuffed Hedwig owl

**Setting Up Your Harry**

**Step one**

Open the box that Harry came in  
If he appears asleep, douse him with cold water and give a cheery "Hello!"  
That should wake him up immediately.

**Step two**

Unpack all of Harry's things (be careful not to notice he picture)  
and let him pick out a room.

**Step three**

Harry is quite used to the muggle world  
so he's not suprised by things such as electricity and  
telephones so have no fear in watching television.

** Step four**

To keep your Harry happy, you must remember  
to feed and care for your Harry.  
If you don't, Harry may run away  
and you will not get a refund.

Now that you've read the instructions, have fun and remember  
not to let Harry use magic in front of Muggles.

Thank you once more,

Dracomaxandme Productions


	2. Hermione J Granger

**I liked the Harry J. Potter one so heres the second edition!**

**How To Care For Your**

**Hermione J. Granger**

Congratulations!

You have successfully received your Hermione!

Your Hermione should have come with:

1.) A magic wand

2.) A bag of parchment, ink, and quills

3.) A change of black standard robes

4.) A copy of _Hogwarts Through the Ages_

5.) A Ron Weasley plushie  
(WARNING: Do NOT take this from your Hermione as she might get violent)

6.) A Fur Real cat

Setting Up Your Hermione

**Step one**

Open the box that Hermione came in.  
If she is reading, give her a few minutes and then  
ask her kindly to come out. She should since Hermione  
is usually polite.

**Step two**

Unpack all of Hermione's things (don't pick up the plushie for Hermione will get this as soon as you aren't looking.),  
and let him pick out a room.

**Step three**

Hermione is quite used to the muggle world  
so she's not suprised by things such as electricity and  
telephones so have no fear in watching television (Mind not to have it up to loud as it will disturb her reading).

**Step four**

To keep your Hermione happy, you must remember  
to feed and care for your Hermione.  
If you don't, Hermione may run away  
and you will not get a refund.

Now that you've read the instructions, have fun and remember  
not to let Hermione use magic in front of Muggles.

Thank you once more,

_Dracomaxandme Productions_

_P.S.- Please note that Hermione is a tattler, fun-sucker, and is very _

_sensitive but have no fear, she'll get over that phase in the next book._

_**For those of you who don't know what a Fur Real pet is, they are those dogs cats hamsters etc... that move, make noise, sometimes walk around, and are covered in fur. Generally very creepy. I had a GoGo my walking pup.**_


	3. Ron B Weasley

The third edition enjoy!:)  
***

**How To Take Care Of Your**

**Ron B. Weasley**

**Congratulations!**

**You have successfully received your Ron. Your Ron should have come with**

1.) A magic wand

2.) A box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans

3.) A change of black standard robes

4.) A small owl

5.) A picture of Hermione

6.) A copy of_ Quiddich Through The Ages_

**Setting Up Your Ron**

**Step one**

Open the box that Ron came in  
If he appears asleep, he probably is.  
Just leave him there and he'll get out  
when he gets hungry (This shouldn't  
take more than an hour)

**Step two**

Unpack all of Ron's things  
and let him pick out a room.

**Step three**

Ron isn't used to the muggle world at all  
so he will be shocked by things such as electricity and  
telephones so you'll have to make sure that you teach him how  
to use things like the microwave or he'll probably keep you up at night

**Step four**

To keep your Ron happy, you must remember  
to feed and care for your Ron (you'll have to feed him quite a lot!).  
If you don't, Ron may run away  
and you will not get a refund.

Now that you've read the instructions, have fun and remember  
not to let Harry use magic in front of Muggles.

Thank you once more,

_Dracomaxandme Productions_


	4. Ginny M Weasley

**Fourth edition here we come!**

**How To Care For Your**

**Ginny M. Weasly**

Congratulations!

You have successfully received your Ginny!

Your Ginny should have come with:

1.) A magic wand

2.) A firebolt

3.) A change of black standard robes

4.) A copy of _Quiddich Through the Ages_

5.) A picture of Harry

6.) A purple pygmy puff

**Setting Up Your Ginny**

**Step one**

Open the box that Ginny came in.  
She'll probably jump strait out because she's rather energetic.

**Step two**

Unpack all of Ginny's things (WARNING: DO NOT TOUCH HER FIREBOLT),  
and let him pick out a room.

**Step three**

Ginny isn't completely used to the muggle world  
so she's intrigued by things such as electricity and  
telephones so you'll have to make sure that you teach her how  
to use these things

Step four

To keep your Ginny happy, you must remember  
to feed and care for your Ginny.  
If you don't, Ginny may run away  
and you will not get a refund.

Now that you've read the instructions, have fun and remember  
not to let Ginny use magic in front of Muggles.

Thank you once more,

_Dracomaxandme Productions_

**_I think I'll do Draco, Dumbledore, Hagrid, and Professor Trelawny. If you have any suggestions for other characters, let me know. :)_**


	5. Draco L Malfoy

**Tally HO! Number 5!**

**How To Care For Your**

**Draco L. Malfoy**

Congratulations!

You have successfully received your Draco!

Your Draco should have come with:

1.) A magic wand

2.) A Nimbus 2001

3.) A change of black standard robes

4.) A sack of Galleons

5.) A picture of Harry

6.) A Barn owl

**Setting Up Your Draco**

**Step one**

Open the box that Draco came in.  
He'll probably whine a bit so just give him the silent treatment and igore him and  
he'll get out eventually (If the silent treatment dosn't work, hit him with a stick)

**Step two**

Unpack all of Draco's things,  
and let him pick out a room (He would preferably like  
a green and silver room and is rather picky).

**Step three**

Draco isn't completely used to the muggle world  
so he's intrigued by things such as electricity and  
telephones so you'll have to make sure that you teach him how  
to use these things. He's a fast learner when he wants to be.

**Step four**

To keep your Draco happy, you must remember  
to feed and care for your Draco.  
If you don't, Draco may laugh and leave  
and you will not get a refund.

WARNING: Dracos are usually quite moody and whiney. If you feel yours isn't being whiney enough, he may have a defect. Send him back to the return address and you will get a full refund.

Now that you've read the instructions, have fun and remember  
not to let your Draco use magic in front of Muggles.

Thank you once more,

_Dracomaxandme Productions_


	6. Albus P W B Dumbledore

**Dedicated to**** DanniGirrl0001 because she's awesome like that! Thanks for reviewing DanniGirrl0001! :)**

**How To Care For Your**

**Albus P. W. B. Dumbledore**

Congratulations!

You have successfully received your Dumbledore!

Your Dumbledore should have come with:

1.) A magic wand

2.) A Pensive

3.) A Phoenix

4.) A bag of assorted candies and chocolates

5.) A pair of warm, wooly socks

6.) A deluminator

**Setting Up Your Dumbledore**

**Step one**

Open the box that Dumbledore came in.  
He'll probably hop out and look around before asking  
if you would like a Peppermint Humbug.

Step two

Unpack all of Dumbledore things,  
and let him pick out a room. A sure-fire way to make  
him feel at home is to get some spindly tables, and set  
them around the room.

**Step three**

Dumbledore is particularly interested muggle world  
so he's intrigued by things such as electricity and  
telephones so you'll have to make sure that you teach him how  
to use these things.

**Step four**

To keep your Dumbledore happy, you must remember  
to feed and care for your Dumbledore.  
If you don't, Dumbledore may walk around outside and frighten hideously normal people such as the Dursleys.

WARNING: Dumbledores are extremely curious and enjoy asking questions and taking walks outside.

Now that you've read the instructions, have fun and remember  
not to let your Dumbledore use magic in front of Muggles.

Thank you once more,

_Dracomaxandme Productions_

**Please review! I LOVE IT! Up next is Hagrid.**


	7. Rubeus Hagrid

**WOW already at 7!**

**How To Take Care Of Your**

**Rubeus Hagrid**

**Congratulations!**

**You have successfully received your Harry. Your Harry should have come with**

1.) A pink umbrella

2.) A pack of Pokemon trading cards

3.) A moleskin overcoat

4.) Many Dragon Books

5.) A picture Madame Maxine

6.) Bottle of some sort of Liquor

**Setting Up Your**

Rubeus Hagrid

Step one

Open the box that Hagrid came in  
If he appears asleep, douse him with cold water and give a cheery "Hello!"  
If this does not wake him, take advantage of this fact and  
try to brush out his mane of tangled hair.

**Step two**

Unpack all of Hagrid things (hide the liquor if you can)  
and let him pick out a room.

**Step three**

Hagrid is barely familiar with how to work anything in the Muggle world but if you  
are willing to teach him, he is willing to learn no matter how long it will take.

** Step four**

To keep your Harry Hagrid, you must remember  
to feed and care for your Hagrid.  
If you don't, Hagrid may run away  
and you will not get a refund.

**Special Instructions and Warnings**

**You have chosen an extremely needy character. Not only does he have  
drinking problems, social issues, and low self confidence, but he is also hard to understand and  
extremely hard to take out in public because of his size.**

WARNING: Do NOT convince your Hagrid that the animals on the pokemon cards are real.

Do NOT let your Hagrid use his pink umbrella. The spells always turn out wrong.

You may have to widen the walkways and doors since Hagrid is rather large.

Hagrids have drinking problems, but they will be unhappy if they don't get  
just a tiny bit to drink. Limit his refills to once a week.

Now that you've read the instructions, have fun and remember  
not to let Hagrid use magic.

Thank you once more,

Dracomaxandme Productions


	8. Sirius Black

****

Hey guys! Please don't throw things at me! I really am sorry that I haven't updated in forever. Anyway here's the much asked for SIRIUS BLACK chapter! Please review! It really makes me want to write more. Enjoy number 9!

****

How To Take Care Of Your

**Sirius Black**

**Congratulations!**

**You have successfully received your Sirius Black. Your ****Sirius Black** should have come with

1.) A wand

2.) A small fortune

3.) An extremely misbehaved House Elf.

4.) A firebolt

5.) Puppy Chow

6.) Many different knick-knacks (Be extremely careful with these.)

**Setting Up Your**

Sirius Black

Step one

Open the box that Sirius Black came in  
He might be slow at first but he should get more lively.

**Step two**

Unpack all of Sirius Black's things and let him pick out a room.

**Step three**

Sirius Black has much intrest in the Muggle world in some places not as  
much. He enjoys muggle girls, motorcycles, and some muggle bands.

** Step four**

To keep your Sirius Black happy, you must remember  
to feed and care for your Sirius Black.  
If you don't, Sirius Black may run away  
and you will not get a refund.

**Special Instructions and Warnings**

**Sirius has the ability to turn into a large, black dog. You'll have to remember  
to get him all of the shots he requires in your part of the world. He also may not use magic  
since the Ministry is after him. Try to keep him indoors in his human form.**

Now that you've read the instructions, have fun and remember

not to let Sirius Black use ANY magic.

Thank you once more,

Dracomaxandme Productions

**Oh my ROWLING! You are going to hate me! I thought I had already put up the Voldemort one...yeah... turns out I didn't and I completely deleted it! **


	9. Tom Lord Voldemort Riddle

****************

Ok so take this and switch it with the last one and you have the origanal 8! Yay! Hazzah! Okie doke, if you haven't seen A Very Potter Musical by StarkidPotter then you won't get all of the jokes. Anyways, you can watch it on Youtube.

How To Take Care Of Your

**Tom "Lord Voldemort" Riddle**

**ITS NOT TO LATE! JUST RETURN IT AND GET SOMETHING MORE CUDDLY! LIKE A HAGRID!**

**You have successfully received your ****Lord Voldemort**. Your ******Lord Voldemort** should have come with

1.) A wand

2.) Tattoo Equipment

3.) A whole slew of followers(Don't let him stay up all night  
tweeting or texting these "Followers" as he's bound to try and let you)

4.) A Zefferon Poster

5.) A giant slide

6.) A large snake _see additional instructions_

**Its still not to late...**

**Setting Up Your**

Lord Voldemort

**Step one**

Open the box that Lord Voldemort came in. Be very careful and hold your  
ground to let him know that this is **YOUR **house. He will most likely shout and try to curse you, but just know  
that as soon as you opened the box, a charm was placed on you so that you cannot be harmed.

**Step two**

Unpack all of Lord Voldemort's things and let him pick out a room. Again, hold your ground but try to keep him  
happy by letting him choose the room of his choice.

**Step three**

Lord Voldemort has little to no interest in the muggle world but he knows how to work many appliances.

**Step four**

To keep your Lord Voldemort happy, you must remember  
to feed and care for your Lord Voldemort. Even Evil doers need hugs...

**Special Instructions and Warnings**

**Please note that Dracomaxandme Productions are not responsible for any accidents or injuries including but not limited to-**

**Burns, cuts, spontaneous combustion, boils, excessive vomiting, and many more. **

**Snake instructions**

**The snake that came with your Lord Voldemort is in fact a real snake and must also be taken care of. This terrifying creature does have some ups though. Have a mouse problem? Dinner for weeks! The snake will sleep at the end of the bed and plays nicely with children. (We wouldn't suggest it though.)**

Now that you've read the instructions, have fun and remember

Not to let Lord Voldemort curse the neighborhood children for his enjoyment.

We did warn you (TWICE),

Dracomaxandme Productions


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